Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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