Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Come see our sink grown plant.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
