Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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