Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
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vagina is talking i cant
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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