Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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