idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
