Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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