I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
