I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
