don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
you made out with another girl for some wings
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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