Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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