So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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