I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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