don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
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Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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