I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
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