the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
