so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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