At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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