his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
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