i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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