i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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