apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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