It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
