meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
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at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
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searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.