Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We left the knife in your bed.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.