I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
23 Ladies Who Have Mastered The Art Of Squirting
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week