and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
