He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
