so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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