Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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