O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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