I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize