I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
