The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
