so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
