i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
