Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
