I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
