if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
