My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
