It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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