it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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