i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
