doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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