we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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