I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
