a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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