giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
