This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
