Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.