i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car