Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.

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  (925): I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it. http://tfl.nu/g85u
  Replies (6) Good night (663) Bad night (2044)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis

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  (781): Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis http://tfl.nu/4nxt
  Replies (22) Good night (3800) Bad night (649)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.

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  (757): Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed. http://tfl.nu/t0jo
  Replies (13) Good night (3621) Bad night (608)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Who pooed in my magic bullet?

  (1-613): View more from Ontario

  Sorry the bathroom was being used.

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  (613): Who pooed in my magic bullet? (1-613): Sorry the bathroom was being used. http://tfl.nu/qp1c
  Replies (9) Good night (760) Bad night (4572)
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  (347): View more from New York

  Leave Me Alone

  (573): View more from Missouri

  At least least me cry on your voice mail

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  (347): Leave Me Alone (573): At least least me cry on your voice mail http://tfl.nu/2wcv
  Replies (14) Good night (633) Bad night (4385)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now

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  (603): I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now http://tfl.nu/6uxz
  Replies (21) Good night (4954) Bad night (560)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends

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  (253): girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends http://tfl.nu/xej0
  Replies (99) Good night (2799) Bad night (5734)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.

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  (864): Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint. http://tfl.nu/at98
  Replies (14) Good night (4205) Bad night (739)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.

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  (604): He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face. http://tfl.nu/1cal
  Replies (11) Good night (2794) Bad night (1249)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.

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  (931): So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating. http://tfl.nu/zfrb
  Replies (9) Good night (1346) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago

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  (864): I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago http://tfl.nu/uywq
  Replies (12) Good night (259) Bad night (1128)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!

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  (262): one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday! http://tfl.nu/b0h1
  Replies (2) Good night (566) Bad night (269)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies

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  (504): I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies http://tfl.nu/3ufe
  Replies (6) Good night (259) Bad night (586)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  We've made things harder for ourselves

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  The struggle will be part of the fun

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  (604): I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest (604): We've made things harder for ourselves (778): The struggle will be part of the fun http://tfl.nu/kjb3
  Replies (4) Good night (439) Bad night (224)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this

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  (319): Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this http://tfl.nu/dy6c
  Replies (4) Good night (258) Bad night (550)

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