Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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