how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
