apparently the secret to your success is patron
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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