i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
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I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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