so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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