Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize