Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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