he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
