I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
