Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
